Nocturne
by angelwrita
Summary: a story about Liz, who moves to Forks not knowing that she's a vampire as she's lost her memory as a human. meanwhile, the Cullen's newest member, Dan seems to have developed feelings for this 'human'. chapter 3 started
1. Preface

**AN**-this is my first attempt at a fanfic. so don't be too harsh...contructive criticism is more than welcome!

**Disclaimer**-stephenie meyer wrote the book twilight. i'm only basing this fanfic around her book...though i wish i could've written twilight! sucha good book! (unfortunately...i'm not that smart nor that great a genius...such a pity...)

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**Preface**

I could not remember what it was like...before this. But life has been so, lonely, since...well, since I forgot everything. Since then I had lost my identity, my name, everything about me. But with that, I gained a brother. He isn't my real brother, I don't even remember my family, if...I ever even had one. All I know is that I'm now sitting with my brother, in his car, driving down to Forks.

_ My new home._

All I remember was when Dave found me, lying there in the alleyway, sprawled on the floor. I don't even remember that much, apparently I'd lost a lot of blood. He said most people forget events that had a huge impact on the person's life...and just as my mind began to return to reality, and my eyes once again focused on the natural surroundings moving beyond the window. It was...green, and it was then, it dawned on me...we were there. This was going to be my home. This would be my identity. This would be my life.


	2. New Surroundings completed

**AN-**this is my first attempt at a fanfic. so don't be too harsh...contructive criticism is more than welcome! 

**Disclaimer**-stephenie meyer wrote the book twilight. i'm only basing this fanfic around her book...though i wish i could've written twilight! sucha good book! (unfortunately...i'm not that smart nor that great a genius...such a pity...)

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**Chapter 1**

I was lying on my bed, eyes wide open with the alarm blaring loudly beside my ear. I had not slept a bit the night before, even though my mind told me I should have been tired, I could not bring myself to believe that I was. My muscles were all relaxed from lying on a bed for so long, but there was no part of me that ached for rest. What more, I felt as if I was more alert than ever. The sound of the clock continued to ring loudly in my small room. I swiped my hand briefly across the bedside table in search for the clock, my mind still a haze, although it was getting clearer. When I finally turned the alarm off, I slumped back into my bed. I looked out the window, it displayed scenery that resembled the one I saw while coming to this isolated little city. It was so green it was almost piercing as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings even though the sun didn't lean low enough to kiss the leaves of the trees. I blinked, water gathering in my eyes as I continued to stare out my closed window. I yawned unintentionally and sat up. Time to get ready for school. I grabbed some clothes from my unpacked bag and walked towards the one bathroom in the house.

I closed the door and stared at the foreign face in the mirror. She was pale, perhaps from lack of sleep with dark circles under her eyes. She was definitely depriving her body of sleep she needed, not even a massive caking of concealer would be able to hide those dark purple and blue circles that seemed so contrasting compared to her white skin. It was almost transparent. I touched my face lightly, and so did the figure in the mirror. I couldn't be sure, since I had lost some years of memories, but I never recalled myself looking quite so pale. I noticed that I was gawking. Gawking at my own reflection. Even though her skin was pale, it only accentuated her facial features. She looked like a girl with attitude, the eyes were unusually dark, but piercing at the same time, expressing more emotion than the face as a whole. I ran my hand along the straight line of my nose. It was me in the mirror. I touched the mirror lightly. It really was me. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a sharp knock on the door.

"Liz, is anything wrong? 'Cause if everything's fine, I hope you do realise you're not the only one who needs the toilet in the morning?"Dave said. I pulled my hand away from the mirror unwillingly.

"I'll be quick, sorry!"I quickly pulled off my baggy pajamas and pulled on my shirt and jeans. I brushed my teeth as quickly as possible, they looked clean enough in the mirror, a matte ivory colour. I then brushed my hair with my fingers, remembering that I didn't have a brush. I made a mental note to buy one...soon. Splashing water on my face I looked at myself in the mirror again. The figure didn't pierce me as it had before, I guess I was getting used to myself. I opened the door while pulling my hair into a loose ponytail.

"Done." I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Finally, get something to eat while you wait for me, I'll drive us to school." He dumped an empty bowl into my hands before he headed towards the toilet.

"What's there to eat?" I yelled, just before he was out of sight.

"Whatever you can find, there isn't much I'm warning ya."

I opened the cupboards to find they were empty. I wasn't feeling hungry, but I knew that I had to eat, where else would I get my energy from? I opened the fridge and found an apple. Suddenly the thought of eating it compulsed me and I felt like vomiting. The thought of biting into that was quite overwhelming. Even so, I took a bite out of the ripe apple before frowning slightly at its bland taste. I forced the rest of the apple down my throat. I filled a cup with tap water, drinking. This too was bland and tasteless, _weird_ I thought, I didn't remember fruit being so...tasteless.

I sat on one of the taller chairs near the kitchen bench top and rested my head on my arms. Everything was so new, like I was exploring the world from a child's point of view. I looked around, my mind working faster than usual. I sighed, my ears picking up even the slightest sounds as I closed my eyes. In a few minutes I'd be heading to high school. The idea was alien to me, even now. Apparently, the school was very small, consisting of only around three hundred people in total. This was more depressing than I thought, but if this was going to be my life, I might as well live with it and make the most of it. I sighed again, and forced the corners of my lips to lift. The sudden call of Dave's voice sounded so loud to my ears I practically jumped out of the seat and landed on my behind, had my reflexes not been this quick. I wiped my hands lightly on the front of my jeans. Dave was looking at me weirdly as he came closer. I shrugged in reply.

"C'mon, let's go"

I followed on behind him, grabbing my jacket from the pegs in the wall in front of the door. I stood under the shade of the porch, zipping my jacket up as he locked the door. The car looked a little worse for wear, the ride into town had caused it to look dirtier than it had originally. I sat in the front seat next to my brother. Truthfully, we looked quite alike, his brown hair was similar to mine, although mine definitely looked more disheveled and unruly. His skin, like mine, was extremely pale. He looked statuesque, his expression still as he stared ahead, if it hadn't been for the slight rise and fall of his chest, I would have thought he _was_ a statue. He was like a live masterpiece.

We got there faster than I expected, but then again, this was a small town. Everything was so compact here, even the trees. The weather, I noticed, seemed to reflect my emotions, it was drizzling slightly and was overall, dull and damp.

"I'll wait for you here at the end of school ok? But, I'll still see you at lunch anyway. You should go to the front office and talk to the receptionist first...well, see you then." He waved at me, the keys swaying slightly at his slight hand movement. I stared in awe, shaking my head slightly before waving back to him as I headed to the building that had a large words "FRONT OFFICE" on it. I tugged nervously at my jacket before walking through the alien door.

"So, who do we have here?" the woman at the desk looked friendly enough, I couldn't help myself from sniffing in the air as a lovely new aroma filled my nostrils. It caused a shiver to run down my spine, I breathed in deeply again. The taste in the air was mouth-watering. It was pure delicacy, I suddenly felt extremely aware of my surroundings as a new hunger gripped me. I stared blankly at the secretary who stared back at me with a weird expression. I gulped, but the hunger was still there, pulling at me. I stared at the receptionist, still staring at me with her vacant expression.

"Err, hi. I'm Elizabeth Reynolds, I'm new here." I tried to just simply concentrate on her face and push the scent that still lingered in the air away. I forced a slight smile on my face. Moments later a timetable was stuffed in front of my face with my name on it, she talked me through the mapping of the school grounds, which seemed quite large considering the size of the town. The scent was still there, but it was not such a distraction as it had been before. I could listen to her talking without being too distracted. The bell rang and she told me to go to my first class for the day. Trig. This was going to be fun, I sighed. I stood up assembling my timetable and map into a more orderly fashion before nodding slightly to her as a way of thanks before leaving. When I opened the door, the wind that blew outside rushed in, like a wave, washing me over with new smells. Scents that were similar to the one before, that made my mouth water with every breath I took in. I stood there, perfectly still for second before my mind cleared some more and I could move my limbs.

I ambled slowly towards the building that the secretary had indicated to be my classroom. I sighed and walked in. The unsatisfied thirst was overwhelming. I didn't know what it was, but it was making me extremely aware of my surroundings, every aspect of it. I gave the slip to the teacher behind the desk for him to sign. I stared briefly around the classroom at the other juniors there. He introduced himself to me in the briefest way possible, by simply saying his name. I was sure I would forget it anyway. He then told me to sit down in the one seat that was empty at the back of the room. I couldn't help but feel delighted then, it was so isolated, it felt like...well, it felt like my kind of place, secluded and dark. I wasn't feeling all extrovert-like on the first day of school and was glad he did not pay much attention to me nor call on me for answers when I had no idea what he was talking about, which was most of the time. The seat next to me was empty, but I could feel someone gazing at me. It was a nerve-racking feeling. I sat on the edge of my seat, my back more rigid than it would have been, if only I had been more relaxed. As soon as the bell rang I gathered my papers and walked out, still aware that a pair of eyes were indeed staring at me, although who's I was still unsure.

Being outside, I could breathe better without feeling the strange wave of hunger as much. The rest of the day passed in a similar way, most of the people ignored me, just as I ignored them, the occasional classmate would introduce themselves to me, and before I knew it, it was lunch. By then I had become more acquainted with a girl in my English class. She was friendly and talked, in my opinion, a little more than needed. I didn't have to talk much, her chatter filled up most of the occasional silent gaps. I followed on behind her to the cafeteria. Once I was in there, the stench of the food repulsed me, I tried my hardest to keep my face as expressionless as before without showing my discomfort. She was still talking, the constant buzz in my ear. She was taller than me by two inches, her hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, her hair sleek and light brown. Her skin was like mine, pale, only it was more rosy, a sign of health. All the other people looked pale, I guess it was because of the lack of sun in this area, if there was the tiniest ray, I was certain the whole school would try to soak it in. She was still talking as we lined up. It wasn't annoying chatter, mostly about teachers and all the other students. I was only half listening, staring around the room and nodding at her now and then to show I was listening. Some of the faces of people were recognizable, although most of them were unfamiliar.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" My 'guide' asked me, her facial expression showed that she was evidently thinking I was suffering from some eating disorder, or possible drug use. I couldn't blame her I guess, my skin was pale. I smiled as sincerely as I could and answered by saying I was not hungry.

"You sure? You, look like you could do with some food in your system." Her voice sounded as if she was more curious than worried about my health.

"Oh, no, I'm fine thanks. I had a big breakfast today," that was such a huge lie, the aroma emitted from the food was extremely strong. I felt like vomiting. "I'm still full, you know." She looked unconvinced. "Really, I urged on."

"Here, just get a bread roll. It's better than nothing." She shrugged as she put a bread roll onto a plate and handing it to me. I looked down at the roll, it looked more like crap to me than food.

"Thanks." I mumbled softly, not really meaning it. She smiled at that and continued to talk. I sighed as I followed her to an empty table. I gulped, as I prodded the bread slightly. Luckily, she wasn't looking at me, but instead, happily engrossed in her lunch. To me, hers was even worse. I ripped a bit of the bread off and put it in my mouth, hoping that it would help ease the other hunger, that was still there. It didn't help. It was extremely difficult to swallow, the bland taste was disturbing and I desperately wanted something to wash my mouth with.

A few more girls joined our table, the girl in my English class introduced them to me. The one with extremely straight hair and pixie like appearance was Emily, the other was Jay. She had dyed black hair and was, quite evidently Gothic. She wore only blacks, apart from her wristband, which had the slightest reddish tinge on it. I was beginning to like her already. Her thick eyeliner was striking! I only then picked up the girl who had taken me to lunch's name, which was Janice. They continued to chat, occasionally asking me a question, but then restarting their conversation again. Meanwhile I looked around at the other tables, my eyes wandering from table to table, until I saw a group of people who looked, VERY much like me. They were all pale, as if they had suffered from lack of rest. They too had the dark circles under their eyes, they looked bruised. And yet, they looked as lively as they could be. There were four boys and three girls. Their eyes held blank expressions, that seemed to say so much more. The bronze haired boy's lips moved so quickly I was sure they were still. Had he talked? The brown haired girl next to him rested her hand on his arm. I wondered what they were talking about. It was then I realised that the hunger subsided inside me as my mind was on them. The bronze haired boy's back went straight, he glanced at e for a second, or perhaps even less than a second. It was so quick, I was stunned into silence. Even my mind was a blank. I forced my head around to face Janice.

"Who are they?" I nodded towards the pale faced people. They were definitely beautiful, far more than beautiful, they were stunning. Their angular faces were piercing.

"Them? They're the Cullens...and the Hales. See the boy there with the bronze hair? That's Edward, next to him, the girl next to him is Ella. They're like, " she clapped her hands together, "_that_ close. And that one's Emmett, he's with Rosalie, beautiful isn't she? She could be a supermodel I swear! Oh, and that's Alice Cullen and Jasper. They're a couple too. And that one's Dan." She pointed at the boy with dark brown hair. He looked similar to the one called Edward, but his expression was less calm, he seemed slightly agitated, like he was on constant lookout. Janice continued to talk, "He's the newest to the family."

"Huh?" The surprise that was in my voice was clear. Newest to the family? What did that mean? He looked 17 to me.

Jan giggled a bit to my response, "They're all adopted you see. Oh, apart from the Hales, they're somehow related to Dr. Cullen. Their the blond ones."

"Oh." was all I could say. I turned around and continued to look at the striking faces of the Cullens and Hales. They were magnets to my eyes, their faces drew me in. It felt so much calmer when I was looking their way, the hunger definitely subsided. It was then, Dan turned around, with deliberated slowness, to look back at me.

Our eyes met, but I couldn't make myself turn away, I didn't want to turn away. He looked curiously at me, I returned his look with one raised eyebrow. His stare felt somewhat familiar. I tilted my head slightly, my eyes questioning. It was like having a conversation, purely using facial expression. I felt a light tap on me shoulder and I turned around to face Jan. My minds still questioning why the Cullen's held such a distinct attractiveness.

"Yes, Jan?"

"This is Chris." Janice explained while pointing to the boy who had wedged himself between Jay and Emily, "He's Jay's boyfriend, they're really close." she whispered. She didn't have to tell me. It was quite noticeable, with the fashion sense being identical and the way he looked at her was as if they were in their own little world. It was like no one else existed. I nodded at Jan, understanding. She rolled her eyes at me.

"You might not care now, but it'll start getting on your nerves soon enough. Trust me, their like stuck together! I swear, you can't even prize them apart with tongs...not that I've tried." she whispered to me.

"I think its sweet." I explained, trying to get into anyone's bad books on the first day.

"You'll start complaining...believe me you will. So...what do you have next period? I have Art. Do you do art?" She had reached over and was scanning my timetable. "Aww, dam! You don't do art. I'm really regretting starting art, everyone's so engrossed in their artwork all the time. There's practically _no one_ to talk to! Wait, I'll rephrase that, there _is_ no one to talk to!" She exaggerated her sigh, as she handed my timetable back to me. "Pity eh? We're only together for English, and that's a crappy subject." I didn't bother arguing with her on that, I found English interesting. I just smiled and shrugged. As much as I liked her company, it was becoming irritating, having a constant buzzing noise next to my ears that ceased to stop. It was also hard because, the hunger was stronger when she was talking. I found myself drawn to her exposed throat. I gulped, blinking a few times before looking up at her face again, hoping that the hunger would subside. Which...unfortunately did not.

"Yeah, it's a pity." Not quite, I added to myself. The bell saved me then, the rusty ringing sound was resonant. I was out of my seat so quickly, nearly the cafeteria turned to look at me, even Jay. I bit my lip and pushed the seat slowly under the table.

"I'll be going now then. I guess I'll see you at the end of school then?" I looked down at my feet as I said this, I saw Jan nod slightly as I turned and walked out the doors. Where was Dave I thought to myself. He said I would probably see him at lunch. Lunch was over already, where was he?

Behind the doors, I could hear the noise as people were getting ready for the next class. I looked at my timetable. History. I walked to the building, zipping my jacket. It was cold, but not so cold that I felt freezing. It was a refreshing breeze. Once inside, I showed the teacher the slip. He didn't even bother to tell me his name. Doesn't matter I thought, it was unlikely I'd ask anything anyway. The class was filling up. They all had assigned seats already. I sat down at the only empty table on the left of the room. Not the back to my dismay, but it wasn't near the teacher's desk and that was good enough for me. As I was sorting my papers out, someone slipped into the seat beside me. My head jerked up. I didn't know my reflexes were that quick! He looked back at me, the hint of surprise from my sudden movement shone in his dark eyes. It was Dan. His gaze lingered for a second before he turned around and looked at the teacher again. Sitting next to him, was like having a baggage removed from your back. It was so peaceful. So calm. I forced my concentration back on class when the nameless teacher began talking. He sounded as old as he looked. His glasses near the end of his nose. I was sitting there, waiting for them to fall off, they never did to my disappointment. When the lesson finally ended, Dan turned to face me one last time, glancing only shortly. The obvious curiosity hadn't left his gaze yet. I wondered if he was incapable of speech, if he was so curious, why didn't he talk? But before I could ask, he was out of the room already. I stood up and walked to my next class.

The rest of the day seemed to lag onwards until I could hardly concentrate anymore. I constantly found myself staring into space, thinking. Thinking about the Cullens, and most importantly Dan. What had that look meant? More than necessary I found myself playing with my pens, wondering if I would be in any other classes with him, if I would see him as I walked to my next classes. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. And when the wave of disappointment rushed over me, I would question why I felt that way? Why wouldn't I leave myself alone? I was still thinking about it when I walked into the parking lot to find Dave leaning leisurely on the car door.

"Hey, how was your day? Make any friends yet?" He turned towards the door and unlocked the car.

"Fine thanks, and yeah. A few friends I guess." I shrugged and got in the car. I wasn't in the mood for talking. My mind was still preoccupied. I liked keeping my thoughts to myself. I liked being secretive, my answers were short and not elaborate. Dave didn't seem to mind, he probably thought it was just because he'd only been my brother for a few weeks. Our conversation stopped there.

The engine revved as he started the car. He turned on the radio, the unfamiliar songs blared loudly. They hurt my ears, but it was bearable and my mind was still filled with Dan. Was I going insane? Maybe I was just being oversensitive, perhaps his gazes hadn't meant anything and I was just making a big deal out of it. But as hard as I tried I could not push it to the back of my mind, as I had with the instantiated hunger.

I was still questioning my thoughts when I was alone in my room, the insects humming softly outside. Their melodic music was the only thing that distracted my thoughts. The night was too long, it allowed too much time for my mind to think. And at that point, I did not want to think.

Like the night before, and the nights before that, I could not sleep. I desperately wanted to sleep, to free my mind from these thoughts. They were probing and extremely difficult to ignore but I simply couldn't. I writhed around in my bed, my mind refused to rest. When I finally decided that my mind would not leave me alone, I gave into the argument in my head and stared at the ceiling, eyes open, mind racing, until finally the lightest rays of sunshine passed through the thick trees and into my room.

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**AN**-I have finally finished chapter one! i hope u like it! i'm sorry it took so long. 


	3. Onyx completed

**AN-**this is my first attempt at a fanfic. so don't be too harsh...contructive criticism is more than welcome!

**Disclaimer-**stephenie meyer wrote the book twilight. i'm only basing this fanfic around her book...though i wish i could've written twilight! sucha good book! (unfortunately...i'm not that smart nor that great a genius...such a pity...)

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**Chapter 2**

"Its snowing!" I exclaimed as I walked out of the house. I held out my hand to feel the feathery touch of the icy coolness. It was cool against my skin, that hadn't regained its warmth. The small pieces of snow that continued to fall camouflaged against my pale skin. I watched it in awe. It was beautiful.

Dave laughed beside me at my surprised expression. He undoubtedly had seen snowing before and did not find it all that entertaining. To me it was like a baby's first breath, I had never seen snow before, or even if I had, I didn't remember it. I frowned at him in return as he pulled the hood of my jacket over my head so it nearly covered my eyes. Like yesterday, I didn't feel tired even though I knew that by logic, I should be weak all over from not sleeping. I was just...not tired. I recalled what had happened yesterday, running my recent memories through my mind. My only memories.

We had gotten home quite early, Dave's driving was quick. He didn't seem to mind that I didn't eat anything for dinner. He hadn't either though, he only drank a red liquid that had been in the fridge. My eyes had widened at the aroma of the sweet substance when I smelt it. It smelt delicious. No, more than delicious. I remembered the hunger that had bothered me the whole day during school and just the scent of the liquid eased my tension. Dave wasn't paying attention to me then, which was my luck. If he had asked me what I was thinking, I would have been speechless.

I suddenly became aware that Dave was staring at me from outside my window. I jumped up from the car seat, the seatbelt pulled me back from the sudden movement, but my head bumped against the roof nonetheless. I rubbed my sore head for a while, becoming aware that we had arrived at Forks High already. Dave opened the door, laughing hysterically at my 'show'. I glared at him. He straightened his face.

"I'm sorry, you're really hilarious sometimes. You know that?" No I did not know that! I could see he was having trouble keeping his face straight.

"No, sorry, but I don't believe I know." I replied, trying to make my voice sound as cold as the snow that was still falling. I continued to glare at him. When his facial expression finally eased, and he looked calmer from his laughing he looked seriously at me.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at lunch, or at the end of the day then?"

"Yeah, I guess. That reminds me, where were you yesterday? I couldn't see you anywhere at lunch." I realised that I had been so engrossed in my thoughts about Dan the day before, that I had forgotten to ask where Dave had been during lunch, when he said he'd meet me.

"Oh. Something popped up and I had to do something." was his only reply. It was a straight forward answer but I felt there was something more to his comment. I opened my mouth to ask what he had done, but before I could ask he had turned around and was telling me that he had to go. I closed my mouth and waved him goodbye.

I turned around to go the other way. As I walked across the near empty parking lot, I saw them again. The Cullens. They were getting out of their...eye catching car. Compared to the other cars, theirs was the fanciest. My guess was that they did not like keeping a low profile. I kept walking, then stopped, as I saw Dan Cullen walking out of the car. I was staring I knew, but I couldn't help it. The hunger that had been apparent once I had gotten out of the car subsided once again, and I felt relieved from it. I forced my eyes off his statuesque appearance, feeling the hunger filling me with every breath as I continued to walk in the direction of my next class. It was stronger than yesterday. What was wrong with me? Why did I always have this instantiated hunger, this irritating thirst that wouldn't keep away. My footsteps quickened. I had to come to terms with myself. What was I thinking?

"HELLO!" someone said as they jumped on me, causing me to nearly topple over. My sharp intake of air caused the hunger to rise. I turned abruptly around to see my attacker. I knew my look was hostile, but I couldn't keep myself at leash. It was Jan. I tried to calm down, smiling with as much effort as I could manage. She looked slightly alarmed.

"Hi Jan," I replied through gritted teeth. I tried to make it sound sincere, to sound as friendly as I could. Why was I behaving like this? Was there something wrong with my genetic makeup?

"Sorry if I scared you, I didn't mean to. Forgive me?" Janice said, with each word, the hunger intensified. I kept the forced smile on my face and tried to keep as far from her as courtesy allowed. I didn't want to seem rude, after all, she was my friend.

"No, I was just thinking. That's all." I tried desperately to sound natural. Jan didn't seem to see through my mask that covered my angst. She just kept talking.

"What did you do yesterday? Have you done the English essay yet? Didn't you think it was pointless?"

"Um, I've done a bit of the essay, not a lot though. I still have to write another page or so still." I tried to say as much as my new found thirst allowed me to.

"Aww, dam! I was going to ask if I could copy yours. Tell me when you've finished it. Mine is a whole lot of bullshit, as usual. Mr. Mason's used to it anyway. I mean, who cares what we get in english? It's unlikely anyone in the class is going to be an author or some english teacher someday. I'd rather rot away than be an english teacher! Think about how your students would hate you! It would be horrible!" She fained horror. I couldn't help but smile, she was unpredictable sometimes. My smile was genuine.

"Meh, see you in english then," said Jan, emphasizing the word 'english'.

"See you then."

The lessons were even harder to concentrate in. The hunger or should I say, thirst was gripping every fiber of my being. I didn't even know how to satisfy it, how was I going to forget about it. I couldn't forget about it, and each time someone spoke the hunger hit me twice as hard as it had before. It was painful. I was trying with what will power I had to concentrate on solely what the teachers talked about. But I constantly found my mind wondering off to the thirst. The unquenched thirst that left my throat hoarse and dry. I very nearly moaned in pain and anxiety. Each time one of my classmates leaned nearer towards me, I would fret. My whole body would go rigid and I had to force my hands into fists. By lunch, my fingernails, as blunt as they were, had left deep marks on my palms.

Like the day before, I followed Jan into the cafeteria, my eyes searching the crowded room for the Cullens. I could've slapped myself then for being so obsessed and so very pathetic. Like the day before, I lost my appetite for the food they served. Fighting against the will to vomit all over myself, I tried once again to convince Jan that I was not hungry. To my dismay she was still determined that I get something into my body.

"You really should eat more. People would think, you're well...I know you aren't and all. But you give people the impression that you're anorexic. Look at you, you are like, so horribly thin! You're like a rack! You know, like flat piece of metal, you really should eat more." Jan pinched her stomach, that was relatively flat to emphasize her point. "Don't be offended though." I wasn't, it was just that I didn't think of myself as being rack thin. I'd never felt so self conscious.

"I'm not anorexic. At least, I don't think I am...I'm just not hungry."

"But that's what you said yesterday. Prove me wrong," she placed a plate in my hand again. The stench was overwhelming. "please?" As if I could say no. I was already holding the plate. I reluctantly followed her to yesterday's table. Emily was already there, waving madly at us to come over. I kept my pace slow as Jan jumped over, not literally, but it looked like she was bouncing up and down with each step she took. I watched her sit down and immediately they started talking. Their mouths were never still. I sat down next to Janice again, looking at the horrid piece of bread on my dish. I lifted my finger to lightly poke at it. It was soft and the bread dented where I had touched it. Janice and Emily were watching me now. I smiled briefly at them and bit off a bit of the bread to satisfy them. When they turned around and started conversing again, I let my face show my dislike. My face contorted with disgust as I chewed with great difficultly. The swallowing proved even more difficult. I held my breath.

Jay came then, her arm around Chris' waist. I saw the fake smile that masked Jan's sour look. I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that the bread was soggy in my mouth. It tasted like nothing. Not water, not flour. Just nothing. It was like eating textured air. I looked down at my plate. To my dismay, I had only eaten half of it. The aftertaste was sour. I shivered at the lingering taste in my mouth.

They sat down, opposite me, Jan and Emily continued to talk, ignoring Jay's longing glances. Much to my disappointment, it was slightly unnerving watching them. I put the plate lightly on the table, trying not to draw attention to my unfinished lunch. Jan would stuff it down my throat herself if she became desperate enough. I looked around, not sure what I was looking for until my eyes found that table again. I felt like slapping myself for being so obsessed. I racked my cold fingers into my fringe, gritting my teeth. I looked up again. Like an imaginary string was pulling me, I found myself pulling me towards them. I quickly straightened up, turning around back to the group abruptly. Emily was staring at me. My movement had been so agile that it caught her eyes. I shifted uneasily in my seat.

"How did you do that?" asked Emily. I decided the best way to get out of such an undesirable situation as this was to act dumb. Not hard, considering I wasn't the brightest teenage.

"Do what?" I smiled as I said that, in the most innocent way I could.

"Turn around like that. Jan, you saw didn't you? Jay?" Emily turned to face Jay, only to find that...she was still staring into Chris' eyes, as he was hers. She turned to Jan, who was staring at me too, although she looked more puzzled.

"Huh?" said Jan. She hadn't seen my sudden movement then.

I blinked innocently at Em. _Breathe._ Stay calm, nothing unusual happened. _Breathe_.

It was a bad idea to breathe. The sweet scent entered my nose again, my mouth watering. Em continued to stare at me, not talking. Jan had already turned back to eating her lunch. The silence that dawned upon out table only caused my brain to pay more attention to the growing hunger. Why wouldn't it just leave me alone? My head hurt. I stood up, slowly, just to make sure I didn't do something considered weird.

"I'm...going to the bathroom." I said, stuttering a bit due to how tense and alert I had become.

The reflection in the mirror was terrifying. Her eyes too bright, even thought they were dark brown. No, they were black, coal black. I leaned in closer, but I could not find a hint of any other colour. They were black and piercing. My eyes stung from looking into the mirror so intensely, but they didn't water. I blinked a few times before opening them again. My eyes were still black, but I felt better, calmer. I sighed. Just then, the bell rang and I hurried to class.

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**AN**- I sincerely apologize for not updatin for SOOOOOOOOOO long! i have...a whole week of tests ahead, and we STILL have hw...i feel so dead right now .". I'd like to thank you for your wonderful reviews! I promise cross my heart that I'll update soon! 


	4. Chapter 3 uncomplete, only 294 wrds

I sat on my bed, back against the wall. The rain pelted at the windows, screaming to be let in. The forest scenery outside was same as always. Even though the wind howled, making the branches rustle, it was still the same Forks. _ Why wasn't I tired? _ I looked down at my fingers that lay in my lap, tapping them to different rhythmic beats and patterns. I turned to grab the clock, nearly breaking it with my hand. _I never knew I was that strong before...but, then again, what did I know about myself? _ I traced the numerals on the clock with my finger. 3: 45. My thoughts were wondering everywhere, in all sorts of haphazard directions, never stopping long enough so that I could understand and find out the answers to my unanswered questions. I placed the clock down slowly again, I must practice slowing down my movements. At least, that I knew.

I sat, rigid for the rest of the night, or should I say...day, until the tiny ray of light finally made its way into my room. It crawled as carefully as a thief onto the foot of my bed. My pale hands seemed even whiter under the scrutiny of the golden rays. For a second, I saw a sparkle. I knew I must be hallucinating, probably from lack of sleep. It had been a few days already, nearly a weak in Forks, and not one night was I able to sleep. I could barely even close my eyes for five minutes without submitting to the urge to open them again.

I willed myself to stop thinking such thoughts, changing the subject to a lighter theme. I thought of my new friends. They were...interesting, predictable perhaps, but interesting.


End file.
